Connecting with your values

Get ahead of the game this New Year by focusing on your personal values

Think of your values as the rudder of your personal boat. They steer you towards what and who is important.

Your values are personal to you and can give you a sense of wholeness and solidity in who you are and how you want to show up in life. Your values are like the sun on the horizon that you keep moving forward.

So let’s be clear. You never truly achieve your values. You can’t actually “achieve” health; health is something you need to consistently invest in, in order to stay healthy. Or take your relationship; you never truly “achieve” a great bond with your partner. You need to consistently invest in your relationship and yourself in order to maintain a fulfilling, loving bond. It’s the same for all your values. You need to consistently pay-in to what’s important for you.

The great thing is, once you’re clear on what and who is important, your values can help you make decisions, guide you toward a fulfilling life, and offer you direction and purpose.

It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.

Roy E. Disney

Want to try this out for yourself?

I use this fantastic exercise with people of all ages to help them get clear on their personal values. Teenagers love it because it invites them to be reflective and articulate the direction they want life to take. Couples find this really useful in gaining insight in to one another’s inner worlds. For individuals, it’s a great tool to boost confidence and self-awareness.

Personally, my values help me make sense as to why some things are REALLY important to me and help me see why I get unsettled when something or someone crosses my moral boundaries.

To complete the exercise:

1. Print a list of values here and cut them up.
   Notice there are spare cards that you can add your own words if needed.
2. Sort the cards in to 3 piles; Not Important – meaning these things don’t impact on you personally. Important – meaning these things have some value to you. Very Important – meaning these things are the very core of you!
3. Narrow your choice of Very Important down to a maximum of 6. That’s usually quite a challenge but important in that you want to be able to connect with your values easily.
4. Photograph your 6 cards so you can remind yourself regularly.
5. As an extra step; taking one value card at a time, write out all the reasons and ways in which this particular value is important to you. Include how this value adds to your life, what it feels like when you connect with this value, where you see room for improvement and growth. What small steps can you take that will help you to keep moving…or start moving…toward this value? How will these steps make a difference? What might be uncomfortable in taking those first steps? How might you get in your own way or sabotage yourself? What support might you need? What will life look like when you’re fully embracing this value?
6. Re-visit your values regularly and set yourself small steps that keep your personal boat sailing in the right direction.

Want to know more about how you can connect with your values and personal growth plan?

Come and work with me at my office in Cheadle. Working with values is a great way of growing your self-awareness and self-esteem. Who couldn’t use a little more confidence right?

Also, at The Affinity Centre we run a workshop around personal growth that encourages you to get (even) more out of your personal relationships. Click on the link here for more details.