counselling for teenagers Archives

Can food improve your mental health?

February 19, 2018 By Joanna Groves Leave a Comment

As part of the fight against mental health problems we have a very much underutilised tool – food.

Source: How food can improve your mental health – BBC News

In my personal and professional capacity, nutrition is key.

When working with teenagers and adults alike at my private practice at The Affinity Centre, Cheadle and Wilmslow, I get interested in the person’s lifestyle and nutrition. I’ve lost count of the teenagers in particular who complain of feeling stressed and anxious who regularly skip meals.

Our bodies job, it’s sole purpose, is to keep us alive. And that means the energy supply in has to support the energy supply out. When we’re hungry and dehydrated the body becomes stressed and sends out all sorts of signals – headaches, loss of concentration, increased fear response, fatigue, lethargy, nausea, feeling jittery or nervous. The body is super clever in getting attention.

Sadly, us humans are not always tuned-in to our bodies and so we override these signals resulting in increased cortisol levels. And increased cortisol is at the very heart of stress and anxiety.

It isn’t just the young either, adults are often too busy to pay attention to the basics and our ever aging bodies need different nutrition at different times in our lives. For example, new parents – mums and dads – would benefit from looking at foods that support them with energy levels given sleep deprivation ultimately kicks in.

I also work with lots of women approaching or in their menopause who truly benefit from better nutritional support. Personally, I’ve got to my mid-forties and have to accept that sugar truly does mess with my system. As a cake lover this isn’t good news. Alas, when I ignore the signals (…and I do!) of aching joints, fatigue, acid reflux and irritability, ultimately I end up feeling very low and with heart palpitations. Within a week or so of detoxing from sugar my anxiety and low mood is gone.

Thankfully, there is now so much we can do to take care of feelings of stress and anxiety. Get in touch and let’s look at your personal health plan that will put you back in harmony with your body.

Stress: It’s Not in Your Head, it’s in Your Nervous System

January 29, 2018 By Joanna Groves Leave a Comment

How to release traumatic memory that could be stored in your body.

Source: Stress: It’s Not in Your Head, it’s in Your Nervous System

Unprocessed stress becomes traumatic memory that lies dormant in the body. A present day trigger can cause the stored memory to resurface. Understanding what is happening inside our body and brain, gives us compassion. Learning why our body responds the way it does, leads to awareness and empowerment.

I see lots of clients reporting symptoms of stress and anxiety, most of which want to get-rid-of or stop feeling the way they do. Some talk shamefully of “not coping” and how they believe they should be able to manage the little things that seemingly pushed them closer to stress.

But did you know that stress and anxiety are experiences that are in your body? Sure you’re going to experience lots of symptoms in your head like brain fog, headaches, loss of concentration. That makes sense as we know that the brain reacts and responds to the body’s signals of distress. What we’re less tuned in to are the body sensations that can offer us lots of information on how best to manage stress.

Read more in this article that articulately describes the body – mind connection and also some simple, effective, immediate ways you can impact feelings of stress and anxiety. There is no magic answer to managing stress, and by tuning inwards and listening to your body you can learn what to do to sooth and regulate those stressful emotions that works for you.

Is Your Therapy Working as it Should? | Psychology Today

January 8, 2018 By Joanna Groves Leave a Comment

Good therapy should feel like work that is paying off.

Source: Is Your Therapy Working as it Should? | Psychology Today

Great to find an article raising the very important questions around the effectiveness of therapy. I really like how it highlights that “good therapy should regularly feel uncomfortable if not frankly anxiety provoking.”

You’re investing your time and money in therapy, it’s important that you reflect on what you’re getting from the process. Good therapists will make time for co-creative reflection in the therapy space. In TA therapy (Transactional Analysis) we pay particular attention to the therapeutic contract between therapist and client and so it’s usual to question “how are we doing so far?” to ensure you are getting what you want from your sessions.

Therapy can be uncomfortable, after all you’re bringing the very things you find difficult. However, with compassion and patience you can move towards your goals and the life you want for yourself. Change isn’t easy but the journey towards change can be rewarding.

Pictures Reveal The Truth About Panic Attacks

May 22, 2017 By Joanna Groves 2 Comments

“Left Picture: What I showcase to the world via social media. Dressed up, make up done, filters galore. The ‘normal’ side to me.”

“Right picture: Taken tonight shortly after suffering from a panic attack because of anxiety. Also the ‘normal’’ side to me that most people don’t see.”

I wonder how many of us do this?

Source: Woman’s Shocking Before & After Pictures Reveal The Truth About Panic Attacks

Amber Smith from Warwickshire, England posted these pictures to her Facebook network. She bravely revealed that she suffers from, at times, crippling anxiety and depression.

Panic attacks are a part of life yet somehow these symptoms get dumped in to a box labelled ‘Mental Health’ and mostly ignored or even worse, treated as a mental illness. Yet with a bit of education people suffering from panic attacks can be far better supported by those around them.

I hear horror stories in the therapy room where the person experiencing the panic attack is surrounded by people asking them questions or offering well meaning advice…like “take deep breaths”. If only huh!

My wish is that people like Amber Smith continue to talk about their experiences until hearing and seeing panic attacks become something we understand rather than something to fear.

Often the panic attack is the symptom of another root cause. The panic attack is just that, the body’s way of dealing with the fight/flight response to an imagined threat. The body’s job in that precise moment is to survive, to divert attention and energy away from anything that is not vital to survival.

Typical symptoms include dizziness, sudden shortness of breath, sweating, loss of speech, loss of focus, increased fear, tingling in hands & feet, headaches, dry mouth, stomach cramps. Worse of all, the person has little control over these symptoms until the panic attack has subsided.

You don’t have to live this way. There are lots of things you can learn to help yourself that will be unique to you.

Get in touch and give yourself the time you deserve to learn how to get back in control.

Stop the Glorification of Busy and Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy

May 15, 2017 By Joanna Groves Leave a Comment

“The reality is, if we want to increase the general well-being of our culture we need to stop the glorification of busy. Can we begin to accept that it’s also okay to lead a calmer and more joyful life?”

Source: Stop the Glorification of Busy and Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

Seriously, we’re human BEINGS not human DOINGS! When did play, relaxation, enjoyment, fulfillment and the like become terms associated with ‘being selfish’ or self-absorbed?

Hell yeah! To be selfish is to take care of the self and I believe we’d all be alot happier if we learned to take care of ourselves – body, mind and spirit, alongside those maths and science lessons at school. Unsurprisingly, being so busy has a direct impact on our health, wellbeing and mood.

In my work with schools, students and teachers alike are relentlessly busy. We’re experiencing this first hand at home as our teenager and pre-teen struggle to keep up with the pressures from the school system.

It’s the same throughout my practice, people are often beyond busy and the thing they want most from life?To feel happy. Of course, there are all sorts of reasons why we keep so busy with external and internal pressures playing a part. It’s not as simple as to ‘just relax’ or even ‘learn to take better care’, if it were that easy we’d have just got on with it by now!

We each carry social, cultural and family messages around being busy and resting. Therapy can give you a great insight into your patterns and support you in making the changes you want to enjoy your life.

5 Reasons Teenagers Hate Counselling

February 23, 2015 By Joanna Groves Leave a Comment

With the introduction of counsellors and therapists in education over recent years, it’s usual for young people to have access to a support service at school or college. As a parent, where do you start when you’re concerned for your child?

Teenagers don’t have to figure it out alone, counselling can help.

Teenagers come to counselling for all sorts of reasons from self esteem, exam stress, moods swings, anger, coping with change such as their parents separation, losing close family members.

May be you’re fearful after discovering your teen’s been self harming, taking drugs, or noticed a developing an eating disorder.

Encouraging your child to speak with a counsellor offers them a safe, neutral, confidential space to talk freely about what’s going on for them. However, the suggestion from a well meaning, loving parent is not always a welcome one!

Here’s some of the reasons why…

1. They don’t want to come to counselling.

When adolescents arrive at the therapy office it’s most often as a result of a parent, teacher or GP having suggested they “talk to someone” about a problem or issue. They can often feel resentful from the start as it’s not their choice.

It’s essential that teenagers are given time to build rapport with their counsellor before opening up about what’s troubling them. An expectation from either the parent or counsellor for the young person to share too much too soon can be detrimental, sometimes ending the therapy before it’s even began.

2. They don’t want to talk about themselves.

That’s a paradox huh! Some teenagers can seem self absorbed most to the time. Others barely speak, communicating with heavy sighs and a roll of the eyes that speaks volumes without words!

Teenagers notoriously hate being talked down to. ‘Adults lead, kids follow’ seems to be the general rule in adolescence. They live in a world of rules and authority with little opportunity to talk freely, make their own choices, and be truly listened to.

Counselling means stepping outside their comfort zone and talking about issues they’ve kept hidden from everyone, sometimes including themselves. As adults, we need to respect their space and trust them to talk when they’re ready to.

3. They hate talking about feelings.

‘Displaying’ feelings around anger, upset and worry and expressing our true emotions in a healthy way are very different.

During adolescence the teenage brain is at a key developmental stage. From around 12yrs – 19yrs the brain makes big leaps towards linking thoughts and feelings but the years inbetween can be a very confusing time for teenagers who are trying to make sense of what’s going on inside their minds and body.

Counselling can help when feelings are overwhelming and difficult to understand.

4. They don’t want to stop.

The behaviour that brings them to counselling is an unconscious, well-tuned, protective coping mechanism to avoid unwanted difficult feelings and experiences.

To STOP…being angry, anxious, sad, defiant, reckless, self harming, obsessing about weight…means they have to face the underlying problem face-on without the right life skills, coping strategies, space and support to help them do so.

As parents, think about your own motivations for wanting your teenagers to ‘stop’ or change the behaviour or attitude you are concerned about. How might your fear, anger, and frustration be adding to the pressure and expectation to change?

5. They’re terrified.

They have no idea what’s going on inside their heads, feel overwhelmed and terrified there is something seriously wrong with them.

At a stage in life where sameness is hugely important, who wants to stand out from the crowd as someone with depression, anxiety, panic attacks? No teenager wants to admit they’re scared, most see it as a sign of weakness. At a critical time when peer groups are central to development and identity, weakness means awkward questions, being ridiculed, singled out as being different.

Counselling is about encouraging young people to be less afraid of hope. Hope that change is possible and that they can learn new life skills to support and express themselves in healthy ways.

Counselling can offer a great support for your teen and you

As an adult, having navigated our way through our own teenage experiences, there’s a danger we become the expert; been there, done that and survived to tell the tale. Children won’t appreciate our well meaning advise, this is their adolescence and they need to be given the space and support to learn things their way.

Get in touch to talk about how I can help your teenager learn the life skills needs to support them in enjoying their youth.